The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
