i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
