New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
