She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
