WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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