how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
