That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
