If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
