I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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