This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
