Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
