I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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