my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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