he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
