i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
