watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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