Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
