i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
