i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
