Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
