did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He better not be in your backpack
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
