youre lurking in front of me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
