I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
