He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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