do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
