Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
