you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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