We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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