Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
