Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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