Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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