try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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