and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
