alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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