This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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