There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we made out on top of his cat.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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