ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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