Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
