I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
