I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
