is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
