I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So vagazzling was a success
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
