is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
