guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
