I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
