I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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