I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
