Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
