we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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