Pants 0. Shit 1.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
